


this is beautiful.

by MelissaMalfoy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: And Izzy pining after Raphael, Asexual Character, Canon Asexual Character, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Literally just Raphael pining after Izzy tbh, POV Raphael Santiago, Pining, Raphael Santiago Has Feelings, Songfic, cheesy af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 18:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13324470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaMalfoy/pseuds/MelissaMalfoy
Summary: Raphael and Izzy spend the night in Central Park. Basically fluff without flot.





	this is beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [this is beautiful.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986745) by [MelissaMalfoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaMalfoy/pseuds/MelissaMalfoy). 



> Soooooo, this is the first time I write something and actually finish it. Pls be nice :) Also, English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes, and I would be happy if you tell me, when you find one, so I can correct it :)

Hey, get your things, it's time to go

 

“We have to go.“  
Never have I hated any words like this. The last thing I want to do right now is leave. Everything inside me tells me to just remain seated, exactly like this, with Isabelle’s head embedded in my lap. I caress her silky hair and can’t suppress a chuckle when she wrinkles her nose.  
“I wish, the night would last longer“, she sighs. Unwillingly, she sits up and captures my glance. I get lost in her eyes. Her beautiful, beautiful eyes. She lets me look so deep that I feel like I’m falling, but I’m not scared, somehow. I could look into her eyes forever. A soft hand on my cheek is ripping me out of my thoughts. I close my eyes and lean against the touch.  
“Maybe… When we just stay five more minutes…“, I murmur hoarsely. I’d give everything I’ve got for five more minutes with her. Five minutes, in which I feel free and, at the same time, secure like never before. Five minutes, in which we can forget about our fate, our nature, and just be ourselves.  
“You know that it doesn’t work like that, Raphael“, she says quietly, like she fears breaking the silence, the peace, by raising her voice. “The sun will rise soon.“  
After my transition, I hated the sun with a burning passion, but I learned to deal with it throughout the years. If you don’t see the sunlight for centuries, you eventually stop craving after it. However, since I met Isabelle, I feel the old hatred burning up in episodes that kept getting briefer. I just want to spend my day with the one that means everything to me, hold her hand as we walk through the town, see the sun shine in her beautiful face. Is that really to much to ask for?

 

You make me glad I'm not alone

 

Isabelle picks herself up and pulls me up with her.  
“I want to stay just as much as you do“, she says softly. She looks at me so openly and earnestly that I cannot do anything but believe her. That’s new. I’ve never thought that a person would willingly spend their time with me. Even less that they would enjoy it.  
It feels nice not to be alone for once, being liked instead of being dreaded. A pleasant warmth spreads inside me. Isabelle comes closer and wraps her arms around my middle. She always seems to know what’s going on in my head.  
“I love you, Raphael. I hope you know that.“ Her words are muffled by my shirt, but their meaning echoes clearly in my head. Love. A word of which I never thought that anyone would connect them with me. I know I have flaws. I become jealous and possessive way too quickly, am too silent, too cold. And still, the most incredible, fierce, caring girl I’ve ever met looks me in the eye and tells me that she loves me, ready, to overlook all of them. It’s like my wildest dreams become reality all of the sudden, every time again. I breathe out shakily and bury my face inside her hair.  
Now, that the addiction is defeated and I don’t get overpowered by my thirst of blood every time I see her, I’m able to gather every nuance of her smell. She smells like roses and vanilla and warm summer rain. She smells like bliss and security. Until Isabelle stepped into my life, I didn’t know what it is like to have a home. But she gives me a home, and I am endlessly grateful. For the first time in my whole life, I feel like I arrived, like my future holds more than emptiness and loneliness for me.

 

In silence we hear the tires upon the road

 

The noise of the road tears us out of our silent unison and brings us back into reality.  
Isabelle pokes her finger into my side and giggles as I flinch slightly. No sound in the whole world could ever compare to her laugh, and I will do everything to always give her reasons to show that laugh, even if that means being poked in the side for thousands of times. I try to voice my feelings, show her, what is going on inside me, but only a croak escapes my throat.  
Isabelle looks at me thoughtfully, then her whole face lights up. “You don’t have to say anything, I get it“, she says, and I see that she’s telling the truth. How can she know me that well after only such a short period of time?  
She starts folding the blanket, on which we sat the whole night, together, but her gaze never leaves me. I don’t want to let her go right now. I can’t let her go right now.  
“We- We could take this to the hotel. If you want to… and have the time, I mean“, I cough slightly. “Of course it’s alright when you don’t. I just thought…“  
“I would love to“, she finally interrupts my stammering and puts her hand into mine.  
I let my thumb stroke over the soft skin. Suddenly, she throws the blanket into my arms and laughs about the dumbstruck look on my face.  
“Let’s go, then“, she says and pulls me along with her. Her steps are energetic and determined.

 

I turned to you and asked you why  
You're so awake you must be tired

 

“How can you still be that awake?“, I wonder. “We stayed up the whole night!“ But Isabelle just laughs loudly and slows her steps down a bit, so that we can walk next to each other.  
It is only then that I recognize the dark circles under her eyes and the weariness written in her face. How could I have possibly missed that?  
“You know, we don’t have to go to my place“, I say carefully. “You need to rest, and who am I to deny you that?“  
“Wouldn’t be the first time you keep me from sleeping“, she grins. „Just that you’re right next to me this time. Who am I to just miss that opportunity?“

 

You say when we're apart you'll close your eyes

 

“I can still sleep when we’re apart“, she continues. The thought of even spending one more second without her nearly tears me apart.  
How can I go on, knowing that something so wonderful, so pure, is out there waiting for me, and not crave after it with every fibre of my being? But when I see the smile on her face, all the sorrow is forgotten. All the pain from my past seems like a vague memory, like I’m seeing it through a dark veil. Only Isabelle manages to do that.

 

This is beautiful, this is beautiful  
Unmistakable, this is beautiful

We spent the day in central park

 

We spent the whole night in Central Park. We just laid next to each other and talked. Eventually, Isabelle’s position got uncomfortable and she stretched. I couldn’t help but look at the small spot of bare skin that has been revealed by her moving. I recognized names, black on her pale skin. I touched them lightly and Isabelle winced at the sudden cold.  
“What’s that?“, I whispered quietly.  
She turned her head in my direction and watched me thoughtfully.  
“It’s the name of those who mean most to me.“, she explained “When you have a life like I do, it’s good to remember who keeps you sane.“ Her voice sounds solemn, and it was clear that those names carry a great meaning for her. She pulled her shirt up a little more and allowed me a full view on every single name. On top, there was her family. Alec, Max, Jace, Maryse, Robert. Right underneath, just as black as the first ones, stood the names of her friends. Clary, Magnus, Simon. One could see that those names were added later on. And then, below all those names, there was one more. It was hard to make out the letters, they were nearly faded. Meliorn.  
I felt jealousy rising inside my chest. He didn’t have the right to be on her list of important people, even less on her skin.

 

I wrote my name down on your arm

 

Isabelle seemed to notice my inner uproar. She withdrew from my grip and started digging in her bag. She pulled her stele out and pushed it in my hand.  
“Go ahead“, she said inviting, but I didn’t understand.  
“What do you mean?“, I frowned. I looked around carefully, but I could really not see any danger.  
“What am I supposed to do with it?“, I asked again, holding the stele out to her, but she didn’t take it. Instead, she held her hair up and turned her back on me.  
“You’re supposed to write your name. I’m sure you manage to do that, right?“, she teased, but I could hear the tension in her voice.  
“Yeah“, I croaked. I was well aware of the affection and honour that came with this gesture, and my hand shook as I lifted it.  
“You don’t have to be nervous“, Isabelle said. „It’ll just show what we already know anyway.“ I couldn’t see her face, but I swear I could hear her smile gently.  
With a little more confidence, I lifted the stele and wrote my name in curved letters on her perfect skin. She hissed shortly and I stroked soothingly over the spot.  
“Beautiful“, I murmured softly. “Thank you for letting me do that.“  
“No problem“, she breathed and rested her head in my lap. That’s how we stayed for the rest of the night.

 

You set off avalanches in my heart

 

Meanwhile, we arrived at the hotel. Isabelle enters without missing a beat, as if there aren’t a dozen vampires lurking on the inside. It’s a sign of her trust, I know that, and I will do my best to never fail it.  
I lead her up to the third floor where we won’t be disturbed. The time I get to spend with Isabelle is too precious to waste it with others. When there are just the two of us, all alone, only then I’m truly free. I don’t think that her feelings are much different. Sometimes, she enjoys to forget all of her obligations as a shadowhunter for a while, and just be a normal girl. Well, as normal as it gets, in our case. I notice her eyes wandering around in the room, coming to a stop on the old jukebox in the corner. Isabelle is immediately heading for it, eyes gleaming when she finds a song she seems to like.  
I close my eyes as I recognize the first sounds of Can’t Take My Eyes Of You. Of course. When I open them again, Isabelle is standing right in front of me and laughs.  
“Let’s dance!“, she smiles and wraps her arms around my neck. I don’t keep her waiting and lay my hands on her hips.  
“You know“, I say, “it’s been years since I last danced.“  
“Well, that’s just a pity“, Isabelle teases. “One shouldn’t just waste a talent like this.“  
I give a laugh and spin her around. Damn, how long has it been since I laughed so lightheartedly?  
Isabelle manages to slowly break down every wall I built around my heart. Not long and my heart will lay free, bare and vulnerable, but also light and breathing. And when I see in the girl in my arms’ beautiful eyes, I just know that it won’t take long.

 

This is beautiful, this is beautiful  
Unmistakable, this is beautiful

 

We slowly spin around in the room, again and again and again. Our dancing is lacking any finesse, but it doesn’t matter. We are caught in the moment, only have eyes for one another. In each others’ arms, we are invincible, isolated from the rest of the world.  
Isabelle moves even closer and rests her head on my shoulder. We are just swaying back and forth now, fulfilled of the quiet tacts of the music and the beats of our hearts.

 

I never could have seen  
Never could have seen this coming

 

If someone told me a year ago that I would soon hold the most amazing person on this planet in my arms, I would have laughed at him.  
How could I, a cold, pale, asexual vampire, find the one true love? Because that’s what it is. The one true love. Never have I felt something even nearly comparable. After I’ve been transformed, I didn’t even think I could even feel something like love. What am I saying? I didn’t believe it before I became a vampire. And even if I did, I would have never dreamt of something this huge. But then, I guess, Isabelle is always good for a surprise.

 

The most amazing things  
They arrive within a moment

 

When I saw her the first time, I already knew. In the following weeks, I just couldn’t get her face out of my head, her voice out of my ear. It only took one moment. One perfect, flawless moment, and I fell for her, head over heels. And when she smiled at me for the first time, I knew that it would be the start of something wonderful. And damn, how right I was.

 

I never could have seen  
Never could have seen this coming on  
I never could have seen  
Never could have seen this coming

You are here with me, I'm alive all of a sudden

 

I totally forgot how it felt to be human. With emotions, friends, lovers. But Isabelle is like a wake-up call, a light in the darkness. I feel myself slowly returning back to my real self. I want to shake that changed, cold version of myself off and leave it behind. Isabelle deserves better. Isabelle deserves someone, who loves her with their whole heart and is able to express those feelings, too. And I know that I can become exactly that person.

 

Anyone can see, anyone can see it's beautiful

 

I wonder what the others would think if they could see us right now. Most of them would just laugh at me, probably. The big, scary vampire all weak, adoring a shadowhunter. Some of them may only see a man and a woman dancing and loving each other more than anything else in the world.  
But, if I’m being honest, I could not care any less what others think about us. The only thing that counts is what Isabelle thinks. I look deep into her eyes and am stunned by the storm that’s going on inside them. And we both know exactly how the other one feels.

„I love you.“

 

You set off avalanches in my heart  
You set off avalanches in my heart  
You set off avalanches in my heart  
You set off avalanches in my heart

This is beautiful, this is beautiful  
Unforgettable, this is beautiful


End file.
